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INFP Dating and Relationships

Journal Entry: Wed Jun 20, 2012, 8:17 AM


I found this FANTASTIC and frighteningly accurate article on relationships with INFPs (like me). It is so accurate it scares the crap out of me! XD

INFPs have a terrible reputation in relationships. supposedly, we have more trouble then any other type. lovely, right?

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#1 You must understand that your INFP needs space sometimes.
Back off and don't pester them. If you're an Extrovert, then you'll get annoyed or confused by this need they have. But just remember, if you stay levelheaded, your INFP will come back with a fresh mind and a new appreciation for the relationship. In this case, absence really does make the heart grow fonder!

#2 You have to accept your INFP's creative side.
You might not understand the method to their madness sometimes. That's okay. Just be loving towards them and accepting. And in the end, you might be pleasantly surprised.

#3 You have to be able to talk sense into your INFP.
Don't be forceful in doing so. Despite their type, INFPs can be very logical people. Though they don't naturally go there when making decisions, they are readily accepting of a thought pattern that makes sense. All you have to do is show it to them. If you aren't this person in the relationship, your INFP will float away with the passing clouds.

#4 You should be someone that catches their attention; someone unique, someone that thinks for themselves, someone different from the crowd.
INFPs love to figure people out. And even more than that, they love people who swim against the current. It's also a good advantage to be a hard shell to crack/ have a tough exterior. If your INFP proves to be able to get under your skin (or at least thinks they have), they will feel all the more close to you.

#5 You MUST have patience (at least when it comes to emotional outbursts).
To the NTJs especially, you need to know that INFPs just cry sometimes about things that are unsolvable (or even ridiculous in the eyes of others). Usually the best thing to do is to ask "What can I do for you right now?" and you can figure out what to do from there. But don't expect to solve the problem for them in this case. Most of the time, the best thing to do is to just sit with them/ hold them as they release their emotions.

#6 Show your INFP respect, especially when it comes to their ideas/ thoughts! They are used to being tramped on, disregarded or ignored. Don't be another one of those people! They will end up hating you if you're constantly putting their ideas down. But if you show them the respect their ideas deserve, then they will love you forever and show you the same respect.

#7  Know your literature!
INFPs are poetic beings that live in an alternate reality than most. They identify easily with artistic expression. When you know classical literature, poetry, art, music, etc. they may open up to you and, if you're lucky, bring you into their dark, secret world for a while.

#8 Action!
You must be a person of action. INFPs come up with the greatest ideas, but they have a hard time putting their ideas into motion. If you are a person that can help them achieve their dreams, it will make an immense impact on an INFP.

#9 You should be dependable.
INFPs are in need of a foundation; someone who can support them in any crisis; large or small. In order to gain their trust, you must be able to stand by what you say you will do for them and DO IT.

#10 It's often a plus to be physically affectionate.
This doesn't mean PDA so don't worry INTJ's. But doing little things around the house or in the car or sitting in a park alone, can make a huge difference. Especially if you aren't a physically affectionate person to begin with, if you show them you care by stroking their hair/ putting your arm around them/ cuddling with them while watching a movie, they will feel special and loved. However, too much affection and the INFP will feel crowded and they will go to extreme measures to seek space.

#11 GIFTS!
INFPs are suckers for gifts. Though they definitely value mind over matter in relationships, INFPs love pleasant surprises. Get dressed up and take them to a fancy restaurant, or buy them roses and take them by their workplace, or order that special edition book they've been wanting. The INFP craves spontaneity and cares more about the spirit of the gift then the object itself!

#12 Be the pursuer.
INFPs know what they want. But what they want changes every five minutes. They might decide they're going to talk to you one minute and they'll back off the next. You must be able to, at least, strike up a conversation with them and show them that you're clearly interested for them to keep you in their mind.

#13 Don't just be a passing fixation.
Often, the lovely INFP gets mesmerized by certain things and people. They will get obsessed and fall in love very easily. You should keep this in mind. Don't take advantage of this! You should prove to them that you want things to last in your relationship with them.

#14 Don't brag or over-exaggerate about yourself.
It's a major turn off for INFPs and they can see right through this façade. Bragging is a sign of self-consciousness. Even if you're the richest smartest man in the world, if you want to date an INFP, you must be humble. Arrogance and overconfidence can turn tides for the worst in a relationship with an INFP. Just be confidant in who you are and be yourself. 




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

anyone wanna set me up with someone like this? :XD:

  • Listening to: Shark in the Water
  • Drinking: herbal tea
Add a Comment:
 
:iconrodeogirl13:
Rodeogirl13 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2017  Student General Artist
Spot on, save for the affection thing XD I think my automatic reaction to a guy touching me would be to shut down, freak out, and either become super stiff and emotionless or back away quickly.

For an emotional person, I sometimes really hate being emotional XD
Reply
:iconcorvidaegenus:
corvidaegenus Featured By Owner May 24, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ehehehe i am an INFP and this describes me very well except the part when it says INFPs just cry sometimes about things that are unsolvable, i cry very few times mostly during my period, if i have an "usolvable" problem i tend to shut down.
Reply
:iconkafka-bug:
kafka-bug Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2014
I'm an INFP and currently dating another INFP. It's early, so I can't yet speak to the pitfalls yet. However, I can honestly say she is the first person to truly understand me. We are exploring the research on INFP relationships and are finding it largely dead on.

I have been in few long term relationships, including two failed marriages, and now see why they crashed and burned and see the mistakes I made.
Reply
:iconasrath:
Asrath Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Student General Artist
Wow... I am INFP, transgender, and gay. I am fcking NEVER going to find a significant other *forever alone*
lol.
Anyway, nice journal! Very informative and accurate IMO. Everyone dating an INFP should read this! ;)
Reply
:iconfrancesca-rose:
Francesca-Rose Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My boyfriend is a ESTP and fulfills almost all of these needs! 
Reply
:icondarkstar1000:
Darkstar1000 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
So.... accurate. > 3 <
Reply
:iconmiki-pi:
Miki-PI Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012
those are goods tips for someone trying to court you... that is pretty creepy... (exact things you told us)
Reply
:iconluxcor6:
LuxCor6 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i know right! as much as i love researching personality types... it's also pretty creepy. it actually really freaks me out sometimes.
but i find it too fascinating to stop!
Reply
:iconmiki-pi:
Miki-PI Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012
yup... sounds just about right
Reply
:iconzoroark-void:
Zoroark-Void Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012
All great tips, except there is one thing i don't know: what is an INFP?
Reply
:iconluxcor6:
LuxCor6 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It's a Myers Briggs personality type. there are 16 types and...
here i can link you to a test if you would like!
Reply
:iconzoroark-void:
Zoroark-Void Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012
okay.
Reply
:iconluxcor6:
LuxCor6 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Reply
:iconzoroark-void:
Zoroark-Void Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012
my result. [link]
Reply
:iconluxcor6:
LuxCor6 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
the link didn't work... what was your type?
Reply
:iconzoroark-void:
Zoroark-Void Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012
ENFJ?
Reply
:iconluxcor6:
LuxCor6 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Cool! another NF! that's awesome!

[link]
Reply
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